Tipah takut tertipu..

Been getting alot of "funny" mail lately. Just to share..


From a Major J wanting to JV with me. Technical speak puts me off..


Dear xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx,
I am attached to United Nations (UN) and looking for a dependable individual that I can trust, someone who is willing and honest enough to carry out this transaction with diligent to the best of his ability. Basically, I have an order on my desk to purchase a Product called SILICATE OIL-xhg. The SILICATE OIL-xhg-xhg is a new scientific chemical fluid mainly used in the gemological laboratory for the Absorption of Aircraft clarity treatment. It penetrates deep into Aircraft tanks and vaporizes out black inclusion . I will like you to be our supplier from Asia because we are purchasing this product from Malaysia. I want you to be supplying this product to UN every month for the maintenance of our Aircraft. I am looking for somebody that i can trust so that i can make him the supplier and give him money to buy this product from the company in Malaysia and resell to United Nations (UN) with the price UN is buying, at the end of every supply we shear the profit accordingly because UN is purchasing this product at the rate of $5,500 dollars per carton while the company in Malaysia is selling this product at the rate of $3,3500 dollars per carton. If you are willing to be in a joint business with me, please get back to me as soon as possible.
Thanks,
Major Jxxxx.

AE, a surgery specialist doctor (trying so hard to impress) claims he is lovely(?) and caring and looking for a better friendship. Starts with Alhamdulillah and ends with cheers?..

Allhamdulillah.....Hello How are You doing today? is nice to meet you here...am lovely and caring and would like to know you more. I'm Axxxxx Exxxx, 39 years old, I'm single, i have a daughter her name is Fxxxxxx she 8 years old, i I'm surgery specialist Doctor working in Specialist Hospital London United Kingdom, Do you have yahoo messenger? so we could chat better and know each other Hope to hear from you for a better friendship..Cheers Axxxxx...

Straight to the point, no beating round the bush from this guy (VG)...

How are you doing,i wish to know you.

A doctor S who wants me to be his guide when he visits Malaysia. Go get a proper guide..

How are you doing? I'm Sxxxxxxx by name... i was looking around the site when i came across your profile. i will like to know more about you if you dont mind. i have the intention of coming to your country withing 3 weeks from now and i will like to meet you when am there, i hope to see your response.
Dr Sxxxxxxx

My picture caught GJ's attention..

How are you today? Hope you are doing great and enjoying your weekend? your picture really caught my attention.i would love to be your friend.Can we be friends.can we get to know each other. Hope to hear from you...
Gxxxxx

J is very gushy and my guard is up instantly. Btw how does one "purse" a while? And he must have spend time looking up all the idioms. What makes he thinks I want to be a gift...

Hi!
Compliment of the year!
May I start to say that nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. The journey of a mile begins with a step. I came across your profile and purse a while. I sometimes discovered that good and rare personalities are always hidden. It's my pleasure to come across your profile, believe me everything happens for a reason. Our meeting here is not by accident neither it's coincidental. I recalled that we all stumble, every one of us that’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand and I believe that no road is long with good company.
I'll appreciate your friendship and see if we're compatible. For "Of all facilities, the most charming is that of firm and gentle friendship"
Unfortunate that I never been lucky meeting honest people online except my late wife many years back but I hope you might be my new year gift from above.
Hope to hear from you. Happy new year! you can email me (jxxxxxxxxyy@ymail.com)or give me your email so i can write you.
have a nice day.
Jxxxxx

SE is very short. I am fine, thank you....

HOW RE YOU?

BC wrote to me, saying he is in need of soul mate BUT asked what my intensions(sic) are, and if I have the same as his (Haaa?? what is the same.. I not the same lahhhh) and then..please get back to him (ehhh you write to me and I am supposed to get back to you?) and start from there (where???)....

HELLO,
HOW ARE YOU DOING? MY NAME IS BXXXX AND I AM FROM LUTTON UK, I AM NOW 45 YRS OLD AND HAVE A SON WHO IS 14 YRS OLD.
I COME ACROSS YOUR PIC HERE AND DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU AND SEE HOW IT GOES, BECAUSE I AM IN NEED OF SOUL MATE.
I DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR INTENSIONS ARE, BUT IF YOU HAVE THE SAME AS MINE, PLEASE GET BACK TO ME SO THAT WE CAN START FROM THERE.
THANKS.
BXXXX

A mounty, RM thinks I can make him feel happy....

Hello Dear…..i know this email will meet you by surprise, my name is Rxxxxxx Mxxx I’m a Canadian but presently working in United Kingdom as a contractor, am here seeking for a woman who will make me feel happy I mean A friend. I contacted you today because when I came across your profile my mind tells me that you are what am looking for please you can write me true my email address or you can send me your email address for easy communications xxxxxxxyy(@)live.com waiting for your urgent responds soonest. Yours Rxxxxxx

And just a moment ago, yet another one came in from Dr. HA but sentence tunggang langgang. Said he was passing by (how is that possible, I have no idea, since it is FB) when he was cut(?) by a glimpse of my pix.....

Hi, am Dr. my Hxxxxx Axx from U.K & I’m Working as my own practitioner at All saints specialist Clinic London. I'm a single father with a son. I was just passing by when I’m cut by a glimpse of your picture here and cannot go without telling you how good you look. Can we be friends if you don’t mind? Expecting to read from you soon here is my e-mail address xxxxxxxxxyyyy@yahoo.com

At least its there for a good laugh and an ego booster.